“It’s not the distress that hurts kids. It’s being alone in the distress.” Karen Young

With the noise of the world, the endless information, the sense that our nervous systems have hit the limit, I asked Karen how she’s finding it, and she said it’s a constant battle. Some days she wins it, some days she doesn’t.

In this episode, Karen talks about wanting our kids to feel safer and do the brave things. Not one or the other. We discuss anxiety and how we’ve started pathologising a very normal human response, and in doing that we’ve made it harder to move our kids towards bravery. She opens up on her own childhood with no adult to lean into. We also discuss schools, and the one question she’d ask if she could only ask one. And step-parenting, which she says is the hardest thing she has ever done.

We explore:

• Why anxiety is a normal human response, and what we’ve done to parents by putting “disorder” on the end of it
• The difference between a child being unsafe and a child being uncomfortable, and why that distinction changes everything
• What actually traumatises kids, and why it’s almost never the hard thing itself
• Why kids are telling us they don’t want more resilience, and what they want instead

About Karen Young:

Karen Young is a former psychologist with an honours degree in psychology and a master’s in Gestalt therapy. She founded Hey Sigmund after realising how much power sits in solid information, and her articles now reach millions of readers a year. She wrote the best-selling Hey Warrior for her own daughter, and she’s the author of five other books. She’s recognised for her expertise in school refusal, which she calls anxiety-based school absenteeism, and she’s a mum to two children and two stepchildren.

Connect with Karen:

• Instagram: @karenyoung_heysigmund
  
• Web: heysigmund.com
  
• Facebook: Karen Young Hey Sigmund